This project has provided much entertainment and therapeutic relief to myself and my co-workers all weekend.  Hopefully it can give you an insider’s view of what our lives are like…credit should be given to Natalie, Keegan, Megan, Lauren, & Ashley for their contributions

YOU MIGHT BE AN RC IF…

…getting ready for work means not wearing anything dangly, tight, or even washed.
…you have to set your alarm for any wake up time prior to noon.
…you know how to grease a scalp and take out weave.
…you only know how to cook for a minimum of 8 people at a time.
…you go into NCI pose whenever someone yells your name – even in the grocery store.
…in your job description you’re required to be a nurse, a maid, and a cook, while keeping the kids from killing each other.
…you pull out keys to open every door – including the door to your own bathroom.
…you have an opinion about the best way to restrain people.
…you practice restraints on your friends at parties.
…you never socialize before midnight.
…you have the cell phone numbers of everyone you’ve ever worked with just in case of an emergency.
…your company has an inclement weather policy – and that policy basically says “Snow or sleet, get your ass to work.”
…you scream out “BOUNDARIES!” when people get uncomfortably close to you.
…you don’t mind oversharing.
…you are constantly looking for new coping skills.
…you rate your day on a 1-10 scale.
…you thank people for sharing.
…you know how to phrase any insult or frustration in therapeutic language.
…you count down the hours till midnight even when it’s not New Year’s Eve.
…you tend to over-use acronyms.
…you ask people before you hug them.
…you have ever been told to “suck out my a**hole with a straw.”
…you have a slight drinking problem.
…you laugh when people cuss you out.
…you usually make other people uncomfortable when you talk about your job.
…every time you talk to your family they tell you that you need a new job.
…you need some kind of medication to help you sleep.
…you have ever laid on the floor of your office and just said “therapeutic fail”; or said “this is mah job”.
…you cry at least once at month at your workplace.
…you know all the local police officers.
…you go to the hospital more than two times a week.
...after you tell people what you do for a living they say “It takes a special person to do what you do.  That must be so rewarding.”
…you have children from 5 different ethnic backgrounds.
…you strongly support birth control.
…you automatically insert “Miss” or “Mr” in front of your first name when introducing yourself.
…you have ever had anyone ask you if you can catch AIDS from sharing chapstick.
…you see kids misbehaving in public and wonder where their supervision is.
…you consistently delete your cookies from the work computer.
…you know what the phrase “mobile supervision” means.
…you live paycheck to paycheck.
…you need to work a minimum of 25 hours of overtime to make ends meet.
…holidays and weekends mean nothing to you.
…you think kids should be in bed by 9pm.
…it doesn’t faze you when objects are thrown at you.
…you have ever seen someone kick out the window of a police car.
…you have ever had to explicitly explain to someone else how to take a shower.
…anyone has ever invented a curse word or insulting name just for you.
…the majority of your clothes have bleach on them.
…you consider anything other than jeans your “nice” pants.
…you know the real meaning of “processing”.
…you get off work…and continue to talk about work.
…work has ever interfered with your ability to maintain personal relationships.
…no one understands exactly what it is you do.
…friends and family can never remember your work schedule.
…you don’t move when things are thrown at you so it can be considered assault.
…your first instinct is always survival.
…you have conversations about Satan daily.
…you can tell when someone’s really hallucinating or just faking.
…you can tell when someone’s really having a seizure or just faking.
…you can tell the difference between a Lithium pill and an Abilify pill.
…you have a favorite psychotropic medication.
…you argue about food daily.
…you can’t hold normal, rational conversation after 8pm.
…you compare bruises after a restraint.
…you always pick up stray paperclips, safety pins, and staples because you’re afraid someone will use them to hurt themselves.
…you think about how every object can be turned into a weapon.
…you ask your kids to at least go out the front door instead of the window if they’re going to run away…and to take a jacket.
…you get excited about which level drop to give out.
…you ask everyone to meet you in the Pit.
…you repeat yourself approximately 90 times a day.
…you develop passive aggressive tendencies.
…you have nightmares about possessed children.
…you also have to be Captain Planet.
…you have developed ADHD.
…you envy 9-5 jobs.
…a 14hr shift isn’t considered overtime.
…you keep asking “Where’s the rest of my paycheck?”
…you and your co-workers have two separate conversations while talking to each other.
…you have ever referred to your workplace as the People Pound.
…you have to attend the same training every 2-3 months.
…you can’t wait for the honeymoon to end.
…you can answer 5 questions at the same time.
…you have a verbally violent inner monologue.
…you start wondering what’s wrong with you.

This has been coming on for awhile…but I have officially realized I am old.  While I comment on this fairly regularly, last night was the real tipping point.  Know why?  Because apparently it was Pledge Night for Wake Forest.  Which means that everywhere downtown was CROWDED.  Everywhere.

Now, some co-workers and I happened to be out as well – we were planning to celebrate the fabulous Lovell’s birthday.  And while she wasn’t feeling very well by the time we went out, we still decided to go in her honor.

In retrospect, I think it would have perhaps been better to not go to my favorite downtown bar on pledge night.  I didn’t exactly fit into that scene during college, and by this point, I only felt even more worlds away.  For one thing, I had just worked 8hrs to top off my 42hr work week.  For another, despite attempting to look decent and wear make-up, I still looked like I had just worked 42 stressful hours.  And while I love going out and being with my friends, I was not nearly as…excitable…as half of these young’uns were.

But again, as I said before, this realization of my aging has been coming on for awhile.  It’s probably an increased sensation since I work with teenagers who have difficulty imagining me as a kid.  So, I’m going to compile a short list for you – similar to the hilarious list posted by Cat.  Some are related to aging, and some are just related to being in this precarious time of my 20s…

Signs You Are In Your 20s and Aging – It can’t all be downhill from here?

1.  Since I’m too poor to go shopping + too busy to do laundry, I have discovered that waiting almost a full month to wash my clothes creates a similar effect; all of a sudden I have all these new clothes that miraculously all fit.  It’s nice.
2.  After wearing heels, I find it necessary to soak my feet the next day because they are so sore.
3.  The only thing I could actively think of to ask for at Christmas was a cutting board.
4.  My friends and I discuss knitting difficulties.
5.  The people I most frequently want to talk to/visit are my family.
6.  I fully agree that a large portion of songs on the radio are, in fact, crap.
7.  The things I worry about now are my cholesterol, my bank balance, and when I’m going to be able to take a nap.
8.  Shopping is something only done when there is something specific to be bought…like milk, bread, & eggs.  And the occasional bottle of wine.
9.  It’s my dearest ambition to advance my “career” (this is of course the subject of an entirely different post).
10.  I have a houseplant.  And I love her.
11. Seriously, it is not a good idea for me to not have a cup of coffee before going into work.
12.  I actually know what people mean when they talk about the “real world”…instead of only thinking I do.
13.  Dental hygiene is serious business.
14.  Oh hey disillusionment.  Let’s find something you’re not involved in.
15.  Sometimes I freak out young people when I start laughing uncontrollably at some adorable thing they’ve said.
16.  Face cream is my best friend.
17.  My teenagers don’t know who Sean Connery is.
18.  My 4yr olds aren’t familiar with The Flintstones.
19.  I actually get mail – but it’s rarely anything enjoyable.
20.  There are 4 different grocery store discount membership cards on my keychain.

And there you have it.  It’s really not all that bad, but every once in awhile, it is jarring to note the differences between now & then (which is, incidentally, an incredible movie – and one I bet over half my kids aren’t familiar with).  Just some food for thought…hope you have a wonderful start to your week!

Well, time for a book review post!  As I gathered together the books I’ve read since last time, I realized that 4 out of 5 of the books I just finished reading provide some form of satire or societal critique.  So, it’s been an entertaining reading season, and probably explains why my cynicism has increased just slightly   I think I’m going to try out the quote-style book review once again, because there are some truly fabulous quotes that just need to be repeated.  Annnnnd…begin.

1. Love in a Dead Language – Lee Siegel. 

This book is…difficult to explain.  It’s kind of like 3 or 4 books in one.  It’s a fictional story (even though the author inserts himself as an active, albeit it minor, character) of a professor who falls in love with one of his students, and is murdered.  In honor of his lover, he has been translating the text of the Kama Sutra, and providing commentary.  After he dies, the completion of the translation and the other matters of the academic estate are left to one of his doctoral candidates, who then annotates the professor’s translation/commentary.  Sooo yeah.  There’s a lot of playing with language, which is awesome, and in some places it’s just ridiculous; definitely a funny & entertaining read, even if occasionally confusing.
“We were, nevertheless, not so happy that she had convinced Isaac that being a poet was a good career choice.  In Vatsyayana’s time the profession promised fame, fortune, the love of women, and the respect of men, not to mention a higher birth in the next life.  But no longer; we live, as everyone has surely noticed, in tawdry times in a banal world.”

2. Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger.  Ah, Holden Caufield.  I guess I heard a lot of hype about this book, because I wasn’t completely bowled over or anything by it.  I guess at the time it was written it was most likely a truly transformative writing style – very innovative.  And it is incredibly stream-of-consciousness, and Holden is an engaging character, whether or not you like him (which I found him pretty sympathetic).  Good read.

“You could tell he wasn’t tired at all, though.  He was pretty oild up, for one thing. ‘I think that one of these days,’ he said, ‘you’re going to have to find out where you want to go.  And then you’ve got to start going there.  But immediately.  You [Holden] can’t afford to lose a minute.  Not you.’  I nodded, because he was looking right at me and all, but I wasn’t too sure what he was talking about.  I was pretty sure I knew, but I wasn’t too positive at the time.  I was too damn tired.”

3. The Mermaid Chair – Sue Monk Kidd

So.  This book is the only one that wasn’t somewhat satirical.  It was also probably the one I enjoyed the least out of this batch. I like Sue Monk Kidd – I *loved* The Secret Life of Bees.  But I don’t know, I just found this one kind of meh.  Predictable; not in terms of plot (which is pretty interesting) but just in terms of message I guess.  And delivery/voice.  Same old thing.  True, it’s an interesting premise – a woman falling in love with a monk, plus the additional mystery of what’s going on with her mother and how her father died – but it really just kind of fell flat for me.  It was also a little too romance-novel-esq…mushy.  But there were still some enjoyable parts, and the ending was a little surprising in some ways.  An easy read to pick up and put down from time to time, I think (what my former yoga instructor called “a good bedside book”).

“After I’d learned how my father had died, there was a lifting away of sorrow.  I can’t explain that, except to say there’s release in knowing the truth no matter how anguishing it is.  You come finally to the irreducible thing, and there’s nothing left to do but pick it up and hold it.  Then, at least, you can enter the severe mercy of acceptance.”

4.  Mumbo Jumbo – Ishmael Reed.  I enjoyed this book quite a bit; it really pushed me to think and examine it in a literary way (as had Love in a Dead Language).  Reed’s composition of the novel was stimulating and drew from a number of different means of presentation.  The novel presents the “Jes Grew” movement in the 1920s and the ensuing conspiracy by the “Wallflower Order” to depose it.  Essentially it looks at the way Western Civilization seeks to control its members of society and, specifically, the relations between blacks & whites throughout history.  Highly satirical and definitely requires that you pay close attention to what you’re reading.“What it boils down to, LaBas, is intent.  If your heart’s there, man, that’s 1/2 the thing about The Work.  Even the European Occultists say that.  Doing The Work is not like taking inventory,  Improvise some.  Open up, PaPa.  Stretch on out with It.”

5. Nightlight: A Parody – The Harvard Lampoon.  I absolutely LOVED this book.  Like more than words can say.  As most of you know, I’m a bit ambivalent when it comes to the Twilight saga…this book picks up on all of those aspects which caused me to take issue with the books.  And it’s just so dead-on and hilarious.  Please go read it.  I can’t say it enough.  Also, you’re going to have multiple quotes on this one cause it cracks me up…It’s enjoyable whether or not you’ve read the Twilight books, or seen the movie, but it’s even more amazing if you have read the books…

“Why did I have to beware?  Was Edwart going to hurt me?  What hadn’t he hurt me yet?  Was I not worth the trouble of hurting?  No.  I was being insecure.  I was worth a lot of hurting, elaborately planned to take place in an old ballerina room with easily shattered mirrors to complete the gloriously gory spectacle.  If Edwart didn’t think I was worth that, I’m sure some other vampire would.”

“‘So is it awkward if I ask what our status is?’ I asked quickly.  Not that I cared either way.  I just wanted to know, you know?  ‘Not at all.  We’re a couple now.’  Hmm. I wondered how I’d express that on Facebook.  I’d have to change it from what it was before: ‘It’s complicated with a vampire.’  But then I realized that worked pretty well with the new scenario.”

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been reading for the past monthish.  Onto new books…happy reading all!

Party people, you should know that Stranger Than Fiction is seriously a fabulous movie.  I mean…a) Will Ferrell.  b) Dustin Hoffman.  c) Emma Thompson.  d) Queen Latifah.  e) having your life narrated.  f) analyzing literature.  g) Maggie Gyllenhal’s awesome tattoos and anti-establisment character.

But anyway.  I have some things to inform you of dear readers.  Don’t get crazy – it’s all pretty mundane.  But here’s what’s going on in the life & times of moi…(I’m sensing a list coming on…)

1. I turned in 2 of my preliminary 4 graduate applications – M.A. at WFU and MSW at UNC-Chapel Hill.  Woo-hoo.  Third time’s a charm right?  But in all seriousness, while on some level it is all completely out of my hands at this point (and pretty much has been, always) I am doing everything in my power to make grad school happen next year.  Sigh.  We’ll see.

2.  Work last week was hell.  Work this week has actually been borderline enjoyable.  I think things are potentially on the up & up?…

3.  I returned to the nursery at 1st Pres this past week…it was AMAZING.  I just had a great time   Also, I got a $50 Target gift card – with which I bought Nightlight (a Twilight parody), Committed (Elizabeth Gilberts new book!!!!), and the 2nd HP movie.  Huzzah!

4.  I have started writing again.  Just poetry, and surely most of it not very interesting to anyone other than me, but it is feeling incredibly cathartic.  And hey, I like my writing.  So it’s nice to reread it too.  I miss having poetry workshop classes…well, and lit classes.  But it’s been a minute since the workshop classes.  It’s so easy to get caught up in my own writing style and become comfortable, complacent, and not push myself.  But it’s also kind of…not frightening?  but something.  The past 3 or 4 years I have just not written very much.  And now it feels like it’s just streaming out, even when it’s bad.   And…I don’t want to lose that.  Because even when I’m hopelessly repetative or completely nonsensical, it at least gets it out of my head.  Anyway.  That’s my thought on that.

5.  Jess (and Kristen) and I made a 45 day fitness contract for January-Valentines Day.  I am FAILING at it.  Miserably.  More on that in another post.

6.  I’m actually craving change.  Which is funny considering all of the unwanted upheaval last year…but alas.  I’m craving change.  For some things in particular, which I would like for you to pray for as unspoken prayer requests…other things more generally – God’s plans usually end up better than mine anyway.  Even when I’m in kind of a crisis of faith, things somehow amazingly work out beyond what I could have imagined.  He’s funny like that.  But anway, yes; please pray for 2 unspokens for me if you get a chance

7.  As a prime example of #6, one of my friends gave me her old phone!  I had told her like last month how it was slightly broken & minorly ghetto, and so she just gave me her old one – which is one of the way-too-cool-for-me 3 leveled phone with like the actual keyboard?  Yeah, I’ve been lost all day and have had too much fun trying to figure it out   And that is wayyyyyy too generous of her – I’m completely blessed.

And I think that’s it for my update…I still love my apt, am still having fun in W-S, and still miss my family desperately.  Hope you’ve had a good week and have an even more amazing weekend!…and expect a book review post soon!

I’m sorry guys…I feel like the window has closed to give an in-depth update on my NYE.  Briefly, I will summarize:  Raleigh, D.C. (escalator incident, being That Girl at the bar, wretched hangover), Pittsburgh (ADORABLE niece, delicious food, great movies, etc).  MacKenzie is just about the cutest thing ever.  I miss her already.

Since returning from my New Year’s vacation, things have been a little hectic.  Work has been…ridiculous.  And exhausting.  It”s a hard job anyway, but lately I haven’t even felt like I’ve been able to do what I”m supposed to because I’ve just been doing crisis control.  Which is frustrating.

Also since returning home, I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed with social interaction.  Not to act like people are knocking down my door or anything, I’ve just been so drained that any interaction feels taxing.  So, apologies if I’ve seemed withdrawn.  It’s because I am.  But don’t worry, I just need a little bit of space to recharge.

Speaking of, I am finding that watching Glee is a FABULOUS way to relax & recharge   Makes me miss singing & performing tho…oh the good old days…