This project has provided much entertainment and therapeutic relief to myself and my co-workers all weekend.  Hopefully it can give you an insider’s view of what our lives are like…credit should be given to Natalie, Keegan, Megan, Lauren, & Ashley for their contributions

YOU MIGHT BE AN RC IF…

…getting ready for work means not wearing anything dangly, tight, or even washed.
…you have to set your alarm for any wake up time prior to noon.
…you know how to grease a scalp and take out weave.
…you only know how to cook for a minimum of 8 people at a time.
…you go into NCI pose whenever someone yells your name – even in the grocery store.
…in your job description you’re required to be a nurse, a maid, and a cook, while keeping the kids from killing each other.
…you pull out keys to open every door – including the door to your own bathroom.
…you have an opinion about the best way to restrain people.
…you practice restraints on your friends at parties.
…you never socialize before midnight.
…you have the cell phone numbers of everyone you’ve ever worked with just in case of an emergency.
…your company has an inclement weather policy – and that policy basically says “Snow or sleet, get your ass to work.”
…you scream out “BOUNDARIES!” when people get uncomfortably close to you.
…you don’t mind oversharing.
…you are constantly looking for new coping skills.
…you rate your day on a 1-10 scale.
…you thank people for sharing.
…you know how to phrase any insult or frustration in therapeutic language.
…you count down the hours till midnight even when it’s not New Year’s Eve.
…you tend to over-use acronyms.
…you ask people before you hug them.
…you have ever been told to “suck out my a**hole with a straw.”
…you have a slight drinking problem.
…you laugh when people cuss you out.
…you usually make other people uncomfortable when you talk about your job.
…every time you talk to your family they tell you that you need a new job.
…you need some kind of medication to help you sleep.
…you have ever laid on the floor of your office and just said “therapeutic fail”; or said “this is mah job”.
…you cry at least once at month at your workplace.
…you know all the local police officers.
…you go to the hospital more than two times a week.
...after you tell people what you do for a living they say “It takes a special person to do what you do.  That must be so rewarding.”
…you have children from 5 different ethnic backgrounds.
…you strongly support birth control.
…you automatically insert “Miss” or “Mr” in front of your first name when introducing yourself.
…you have ever had anyone ask you if you can catch AIDS from sharing chapstick.
…you see kids misbehaving in public and wonder where their supervision is.
…you consistently delete your cookies from the work computer.
…you know what the phrase “mobile supervision” means.
…you live paycheck to paycheck.
…you need to work a minimum of 25 hours of overtime to make ends meet.
…holidays and weekends mean nothing to you.
…you think kids should be in bed by 9pm.
…it doesn’t faze you when objects are thrown at you.
…you have ever seen someone kick out the window of a police car.
…you have ever had to explicitly explain to someone else how to take a shower.
…anyone has ever invented a curse word or insulting name just for you.
…the majority of your clothes have bleach on them.
…you consider anything other than jeans your “nice” pants.
…you know the real meaning of “processing”.
…you get off work…and continue to talk about work.
…work has ever interfered with your ability to maintain personal relationships.
…no one understands exactly what it is you do.
…friends and family can never remember your work schedule.
…you don’t move when things are thrown at you so it can be considered assault.
…your first instinct is always survival.
…you have conversations about Satan daily.
…you can tell when someone’s really hallucinating or just faking.
…you can tell when someone’s really having a seizure or just faking.
…you can tell the difference between a Lithium pill and an Abilify pill.
…you have a favorite psychotropic medication.
…you argue about food daily.
…you can’t hold normal, rational conversation after 8pm.
…you compare bruises after a restraint.
…you always pick up stray paperclips, safety pins, and staples because you’re afraid someone will use them to hurt themselves.
…you think about how every object can be turned into a weapon.
…you ask your kids to at least go out the front door instead of the window if they’re going to run away…and to take a jacket.
…you get excited about which level drop to give out.
…you ask everyone to meet you in the Pit.
…you repeat yourself approximately 90 times a day.
…you develop passive aggressive tendencies.
…you have nightmares about possessed children.
…you also have to be Captain Planet.
…you have developed ADHD.
…you envy 9-5 jobs.
…a 14hr shift isn’t considered overtime.
…you keep asking “Where’s the rest of my paycheck?”
…you and your co-workers have two separate conversations while talking to each other.
…you have ever referred to your workplace as the People Pound.
…you have to attend the same training every 2-3 months.
…you can’t wait for the honeymoon to end.
…you can answer 5 questions at the same time.
…you have a verbally violent inner monologue.
…you start wondering what’s wrong with you.

Tags: job dissatisfaction, lists, Mental Health, residential counselor, work

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 31st, 2010 at 5:39 pm and is filed under Mental, My Life, Real World, Reviews, Survey/Quiz. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.